"Jerry Avins" <jya@ieee.org> wrote in message
news:ifKdnfPFa83fGzDenZ2dnUVZ_vidnZ2d@rcn.net...
John E. Hadstate wrote:
Douglas Adams' story about the Earth being populated by a
load of hairdressers and middle-managers from a crashed
spacecraft who subsequently killed-off their hominid
competitors and then "went native" because they had never
really mastered their own advanced technologies is more
logically consistent than any of the stupid theories
being bandied about in the mainstream. More to the
point, only the descendents of a boat load of
hairdressers and middle-managers could invent such stupid
theories as "evolution" and "creation" to explain their
existence.
Here's how it came about: Long ago, a disabled spaceship
landed on Earth. Repairs required more effort than the
crew alone could exert, and there were no native species
that could be recruited. Being expert geneticists, the
crew combined porcine and anthropoid genes to create --
pretty much in their own form -- work gangs with
sufficient intelligence and communication skills for
mining, smelting, and other chores.
That's very close, but the real story was told to me by my
Dad, who heard it from his Dad, whose cousin who was hung as
a horse thief. (Notice that I did not say that he was hung
like a horse thief. I made that mistake in the sixth grade
and my mother had to come to school to pick me up.) Anyway,
I'm sure this is true since there wasn't an Internet in
those days and all such stories were much more credible as a
result.
It seems that several million years ago, intergalactic
explorers observed that the Earth was capable of supporting
their life forms. Earth was subsequently designated an
intergalactic penal colony. Criminals from nearby galaxies
were dropped-off here with nothing but their bare hands and
no hope of parole, just sink or swim. Various parts of the
planet were reserved by different civilizations, which
explains why racial differentiation tended to correlate with
geography. After a million years or so, but still hundreds
of millennia ago, the practice was discontinued and
someplace else became the dumping ground.
The main support for this theory is based on the observation
that humans, unlike virtually any other species on this
planet, tend to pity the handicapped, the weak, and the
criminal, and prefer to exile them rather than kill and/or
eat them. For example, there's the story about how places
like Australia and southeastern USA got populated by
Europe's undesirables. Nursing homes and hospices, mental
hospitals and prisons are all testament to the human
inclination to exile those we no longer want to be bothered
by.
Regardless of whether it's true, I think this story makes a
lot more sense than anything I've heard out of the God
Squad, and probably is at least as supportable as the theory
that all of us evolved from pond scum.
